Deborah Chronicles

Part 2

Before I bring you Part 2, let me thank you all for your wonderful congratulatory words in response to Part 1 and answer a few questions:

yes, I really did win an election by one vote; yes, I really was a go-go dancer; and yes, there ARE pictures, but no, I was not topless. I think that should take care of that!

Now for Part 2:

On April 5th, the horoscope on my calendar (thank you, Patti) read thus, "Your original approach to your work brings praise as the Sagittarius Moon harmonizes with Neptune and Uranus. If you're seeking a new job, you could be offered one far away."

That was good news, because on that day I was sitting in the offices of the Packard Foundation in Los Altos being interviewed by three people for a Program Officer position in the Philanthropy unit!

This happened incredibly fast. I met the Director of the program in October at a conference. I had about 1 minute to make my case. It was common knowledge that the Packard Foundation had recently received an enormous boost from the will of founder David Packard. Foundations must spend 5% of their assets and now they had a lot more money to give away -- they needed help. Knowing this, I asked him if he planned to expand their Philanthropy program. When he replied in the affirmative, I said, "Great. Then I'd like to work for you!" He suggested I send him a resume in the beginning of the new year, which I did. In fact, I sent him everything but my fourth grade book reports.

The job was eventually posted, and I reiterated my interest. The announcement closed on a Friday (Mar. 26), I was called for an interview the following Monday, and by that next Friday (April 2) I was on a plane to San Francisco! I did as much research and preparation as possible before I left, got a manicure while in S.F., and felt ready!!

I enjoyed visiting with friends that Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I drove the route between the hotel and the Foundation office to make sure I knew where it was and how long it would take to get there. I went to my hotel room early Sunday night to prepare. I even got up at 6:30am!! I was ready.

What I wasn't ready for was what happened next. Certainly, you know by now that no Deborah story is predictable or easy. While getting ready for the interview, I stepped on some water and the loose bathmat in the bathroom and did one of those cartoon-like, banana peel slips. That I was running at the time didn't help. My feet went so high in the air that I landed on my head first. [My sister, Nina -- the one that rigged the election -- swears that with a butt my size, it is impossible that I hit head first, but I swear I have no bruises anywhere else!] I hit my head with such force that it bounced forward and snapped back, giving me whiplash!! [A fact which I did not realize til about 15 hours later. I am wearing a collar for a few days.]

I laid naked (**cross-reference made to L.A. story where Deborah and friend Carole, one preparing to get into and another leaving the shower, are caught in the same state when a major earthquake hits and stand in a hotel doorway, jiggling, and moaning that they will find us naked in the rubble!) and wet half on the bathroom floor and half on the carpeted area next to it (where, fortunately, my head had hit). I was momentarily dazed. My thoughts went thusly: Ouch!! Damn, that was stupid! Ouch!! What an incredible noise that was! Ouch! I don't have time for this! Oh no, what if this makes me stupid in the interview?

Oh my god, what if I've dislodged some terrible thing in my brain and end up with Tourette's Syndrome and start cursing everybody at the foundation? Ouch! I wonder if I can speak German now? I don't have time for this!!!

So, dwelling on that last point, I pick myself up and continue to get ready. I take a painkiller, but it occurs to me that I might have a concussion, not know it, and that that would be a bummer (**see story where Deborah's appendix bursts at age 6 and THEN she says to her mother, I think my tummy hurts). So I call down to the front desk for assistance. "Do you have an arrangement with a doctor or other health professional?" I ask. No is the reply. "I need some help, what can you do?" We call the paramedics. [**see Deborah story when she had gone to a conference in Newark, NJ (please, who holds conferences there?!) and was delighted to learn that many of the World Cup soccer teams were housed in the same hotel. Unfortunately -- or likely fortunately in that case -- I became stricken with a debilitating virus and was bedridden and vomiting for 3 days. Again, when I called down to the front desk, they could offer no health professional to talk to nor even a thermometer. Ah, but they could call the paramedics!! What is with these hotels and paramedics?] The woman from the front desk arrives with an ice pack and a list of walk-in health clinics in the area. I use the ice pack.

I decide to keep going as if nothing has happened. I am due to fly out on a plane that afternoon, I can't take another day off work without somebody asking me why, the man I am interviewing with has a tight travel schedule -- I need to go to this interview, NOW. So, I do. And I think I did great. No Tourettes, no German either.

Some of you may recall that I had another medical emergency just prior to my interview with The Union Institute . [**see Deborah gets food poisoning and has major diarrhea attack on the way to interview, has to change her clothes, and calls the prospective boss to say she will be late, "Umm, something I ate has disagreed with me..."] They offered me that job! Friend Patti says it was because for once I wasn't full of s**t. If this establishes a precedence, I should get offered this job -- because I had some sense knocked into me?!

I will learn April 16th if I am a finalist. I feel confident. Stay tuned to the next episode of The (thinks she's) Young and the Restless.